"No one had any idea the beautiful morning of September 11th, 2001 would turn to soot and misery before noon."
No one had any idea the beautiful morning of September 11th, 2001 would turn to soot and misery before noon. I remember crossing 5th avenue at around 8:30am, and thinking that a more glorious morning could not be conceived: It was crisp, clear….the temperature was perfect. I wore a brown suit, a white shirt, and a solid red neck tie: I’ve never been one for novelties and prints. I could smell the lavender wafting up from my linen, as I sped up the lift to the 34th floor.
By 9:30 all was mayhem. People were screaming. Then the second plane hit and the phones went dead. We were captive on East 49th street: Building security would not let us leave. Finally, by four in the afternoon, if we signed a waiver, we could go—and so I did.
For three days Manhattan shut down, and most everyone stayed in their apartments. There was hardly any traffic on the streets, and very little noise. Many had unexpected guests who lived below Canal Street. Myself, I was alone, and sat in the quiet without television nor radio, internet access or phone service. It took me hours of concentrated effort to tape up the windows, as was suggested, along with air-ducts and door cracks.
Passing “The Molly-Test”
I’m the friend that was always there for him through middle school and high school whenever he had a girlfriend because he generally turned into an absolute monster after about a month of dating a chick. Nobody else could stand him, but I knew he needed me even if he was an absolute cunt to be around, so I dealt with it.
Anyway, evidently he was talking about how everyone else avoids him when he’s in week four of a relationship or after he’s broken up with a girl but I’m always there to piss him off enough for him to let go of all of his rage (resetting his system, I suppose) to his parents during dinner, and his dad said “Every girlfriend you have has to pass the Molly-test. If she thinks they’re okay, they’re good for you.”
His dad is pretty stern and vaguely intimidating until you get to know him, so knowing that he said that was a massive honor to me and it remains something that I’m very proud of.
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"I came in and told my mother to come outside, there was a tiger next door."
Michelle Roufa, of Quora,
"I tried to prove that girls can pee standing. "
So when I was a kid, I think in the second or third grade, I wondered how was it that guys could pee standing. That gave them the advantage of peeing anywhere they wanted, especially in cases of urgency. That was unfair. I thought it was because boys pants had a zipper. But then I discovered, we have zippers too. Perhaps we can pee standing too, just someone needed to set the trend.
The day came when we were at a relative’s marriage party, and I needed to pee urgently. My mom took me to the washroom and I decided to prove it.
I came out with wet pants. My mom didn’t understand how her little genius suddenly managed to wet her pants completely after years of peeing properly. I spent the rest of the party in the car. I was still unable to understand why I failed.
Yeah. I get the reason now.
Different children have a curiosity for different things. Perhaps that’s why I grew up to be a biology student.
"I unintentionally told a poet to quit writing fluff in his books."
I was reading a book of poetry that somebody bought me while I was at a cafe, and the man next to me asked me what I thought of it. While I’m no critic, I do enjoy it and do try writing it. I told him that there were some excellent poems in it but that it had much “filler” (in the same way that most albums do), and that I think it would be much better if the literary world worked on an iTunes model, where I could simply buy individual stories for 99 cents instead of having to pay $15 and dislike most of the work. He thanked me for my thoughts regarding the book and so I figured he wouldn’t be buying it, and it wasn’t until after he left that I closed the book and saw his picture on the back of it. Whoops.
Movie Lines For Break-Ups
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire." - George Carlin
Sometimes you just don’t have the words to break-up with your other half, but fear not for Reddit has come to the rescue with a collection of “If you could use one line from any movie to end a relationship, what would you say?”
Don’t worry, we’ve whittled the list down to our top 10 favorite quotes.
1 - Submitted by:blinkerfluid13
“I made up a new dance. It’s called the Move on with Your Life.”
"I’ve assessed the situation, and I’m going."
- American Psycho
3 - Submitted by: Reilic
"You’re tacky and I hate you."
- School of Rock
4 - Submitted by: sickhouse5012
"I wash my hands of this weirdness."
- Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End
5 - Submitted by: enaydee
"This is so awkward. i really want you to leave, but i don’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick."
"I don’t pull people’s hair anymore"
One day, at a party, I found one of my female friends who’d just returned from a three day rave that same evening.
"I can’t hear a thing", she said, shouting.
I answered. She couldn’t hear me. I shouted. She couldn’t hear me. It was obvious she was telling the truth, so shouting in her ear was the necessary (and awkward) approach.
"What if i need to speak to you and you can’t hear me?", I asked, genuinely concerned.
"Well, you can always pat me on the shoulder, or, you know, pull my hair back"
"Nice. Do you need a lift back home?"
"Let me speak with [Whatsername) and I’ll tell you"
"Ok then. Enjoy yourself"
Let It Snow!
I was completely amazed. South Texas, ‘winter’ here is usually in the 80’s, maybe a bit colder if we get a cold front. Apparently it hadn’t happened for ~100 years.
Christmas Eve, 2004, my mom looks out the window and yells for my brother and I to go outside with her, because it was snowing. Obviously, we thought she was joking, but we got our shoes and coats on anyways. It was amazing, watching the snowflakes fall from the night sky.
As soon as the snow fully covered our sidewalk, I tried to make a snow angel. The snow cover was still too thin, so I ended up melting the snow into a weird shape. We went back inside, warmed up and went to bed for the night, fully expecting the snow to have melted. Instead, there’s snow EVERYWHERE, covering our yard, maybe a foot deep in some places.
I dragged my mom outside, begging her to help me make a snowman, made a proper snow angel, and then starting a snowball fight with her. I pretended like I’d fallen to get her close enough to help me up so I could stuff snow down the back of her jacket. Turns out, she’d had a similar idea, stuffing the snow down MY jacket before helping me up. We did that until our hands went numb from the cold.
Later that afternoon when the snow had melted and frozen again, my brother and I went outside for a snowball fight, and I discovered why ice sucks so much. While I was able to find the still powdery snow to pack into my snowballs, my brother was chucking gigantic ice balls at me. Got me in the back twice, almost the exact same spot.
I wish it would happen again. Actually, I had a snowball that I saved in the freezer for a few months before my dad threw it out.
Christmas Creep Out
It was Christmas Eve and I was a freshman in High School. My family has been split up for some time, so normally we trade off of Christmas Day and Christmas Eve every year, and this year I had come home early from my Grandparents Christmas party while everyone else was at my Aunt & Uncles celebrating at another party. When I was dropped off my cousins offered to stay with me for a few hours, yet I declined. I thought I could watch some of my new DVD’s and get some alone time in the house, which is a rarity.
I had noticed an unfamiliar car parked on the street, but didn’t think anything of it considering it was Christmas Eve. Probably a neighbors relative or something. After I got inside I locked the door, grabbed snacks, and started to settle down. I hadn’t been home for more than 15 minutes when there was a knock at the door. I unlocked the door and opened it only a crack to see a man standing there. Dark Hair, Glasses, slightly overweight and dressed casually. He didn’t LOOK like much of a threat, but my stomach dropped. He asked ” I was wondering about the car outside, is it for sale?” I told him I didn’t think so. “Is there someone here I can talk to about it?” I said (and quite stupidly I might add) “no you can come back another time” and shut the door and turned the lock as fast as I possibly could. He reached for the handle immediately and started pounding on the door. I heard a string of profanities and the pounding stopped. Terrified I was crawling on the floor to the phone hoping he wouldn’t be able to see me threw one of the windows. Then I heard the noises. Our house had an open garage door, and it led through to the laundry room, where the door lock was broken and no one had bothered to fix it. Just then I heard a man yell,and I saw the man through the window run to his car and drive off. My uncle had gotten him just in time and scared the man off!! Who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t made it home in time. Sadly we didn’t get the plate number, and nothing ever came of it, but I’ll never be home alone on a holiday again.